Only me.

You know that disgusting sick feeling you get in your stomach when you know you haven't eaten enough but you feel like if you do eat you'll be sick? That's how I feel now. That's how I've felt for the last 2 days. I have never felt more sick than now, though. I feel physically sick to my stomach, like I could go to the bathroom and shove  fingers down my throat and vomit till the sick in my stomach empties. They say it's an empty feeling. I think it's the opposite - you feel full of nothing and everything at once, and you're body is trying to throw up the food you didn't eat for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner. And you feel better after, like you've gotten rid of the tightening feeling of your stomach around your hopeless fat. When strangers try to weight you and take your height and how much hair you've lost and how tired you are and if you've been depressed lately - to which the answers are almost always bad - you feel good when you&

You. You beautiful little human. You amazing, wonderful person. Best Friend. You are the strongest person I know. And I know that none of the words that I am writing right now will ever be able to describe how much of an amazing person you are, but I'm going to do it anyway. January, 2017. School had started again. Over Christmas I had acquired a bunch of good things - merchandise, to be exact. With my new phone case snapped over my phone, and my new pencil case buried in my bag, I went through the school day. I walked into the science classroom, quickly bringing out my phone to see if I had any notifications. "I like your phone case!" I heard a bright and bubbly voice say. Then began the happiest conversation I'd had in many a year. Noticing we had almost every lesson together, conversations began to happen almost all the time, and we would walk from lesson to lesson together, and very quickly a friendship sprung, I had felt a click that I had never felt bef

i rise from my bed, slip downstairs, and go in my garden. i sit, leaning back against the wood of my patio, running my fingers ever so delicately through a patch of grass which i wish you were sat on. lacing my fingers through the blades, i close my eyes and grasp a section of it, imagining your fingers intertwined with mine, thinking of how our minds could be laced together with much desire. the craving i have for you is unimaginable - my longing for you is like a drug, and i am a hopeless addict, like many before. or perhaps not. you could be anyone - i have never thought of who you may be, only that the love i have held waiting for you has nearly diminished through lack of love from anyone else who thought we were- soulmates. all those others, the ones i thought you may be, have only ever dispersed me out for themselves, for their selfish gains. i have been so many peoples first kisses, but none of them are important to me, for i only crave one kiss. maybe someone has stolen