23:40
I’ve been fine for so long. I’ve felt happier for such a long period now that feeling this way again had broken me. It’s broken me down into small tiny pieces and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to explain to anyone how all day I’ve been laughing and yet now I’m crying my eyes out because I want to end my life again. I don’t know where it comes from anymore - it used to have a source; I could feel it before it came, but now it’s a jack in the box, ready to pounce. I smile the next day, carry on like normal. I know people like me, and I know there are so many people I could turn to but I just can’t. I feel like a stupid child, running up to their parents and telling them they just had tea with their invisible friend because it’s not real, right? You can’t see it, so I must be fine. I laugh and joke about how I feel. I write about how I feel, but never to the full extent. Nobody, not even my best friend, knows how badly I can feel at my worst. There was one time when it got ba