20:41

it starts with overthinking in bed 
and ends with hot sweats at 4am
in the middle is everything else. 
all of the hidden hot tears 
and the cold lonely nights 
wishing someone was there to keep you warm. 
seeing the smiles on everyone else
and the loving looks they give 
knowing that they have each other. 
it’s nice that other people
don’t feel the way i do. 
i wouldn’t even wish the way i feel
to be the way the person i hate felt
every day and night. 
i hope someday i have someone who is warm
and can thaw my through
when i’m frozen. 
and who can calm me down
when i’m being dramatic
like i always am when it comes
to the things in my brain. 

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