21:59

It’s the strangest feeling that i get when i really want to write, but i just don’t know how to word everything. There are so many feelings that i have had in the past few months but i just don’t know how to say it all. I’ve hardly spoken to anyone about any of this, aside from the occasional conversation late at night, but i just need to get the entire thing out and get it off my chest.

I feel so lonely. I feel so, so alone and I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s the most horrible feeling, because I have the most amazing friends, but I just feel so lonely. Everyone’s got someone like a partner, and I just crave that so badly, i just want someone who could love me for real.

 Sure, I know what love is, i have the most spectacular friend who I love so so much, but I want to know what love feels like. I want to know how it feels to have arms wrapped around you late at night and know that they’re not judging how fat you are. I want to look into someone’s eyes and let them see soul and let them in. 

 Its a lot to want, i know. But I know it’s out there, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen how happy it makes my best friend, and i am so unbelievably happy that she has found it, because she really deserves it. I just wish I could find it too.

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