23:23pm

You know that disgusting sick feeling you get in your stomach when you know you haven't eaten enough but you feel like if you do eat you'll be sick?

That's how I feel now. That's how I've felt for the last 2 days.

I have never felt more sick than now, though. I feel physically sick to my stomach, like I could go to the bathroom and shove  fingers down my throat and vomit till the sick in my stomach empties. They say it's an empty feeling. I think it's the opposite - you feel full of nothing and everything at once, and you're body is trying to throw up the food you didn't eat for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner. And you feel better after, like you've gotten rid of the tightening feeling of your stomach around your hopeless fat. When strangers try to weight you and take your height and how much hair you've lost and how tired you are and if you've been depressed lately - to which the answers are almost always bad - you feel good when you've lost weight, unaccomplished when you are the same, disgusting when you've gained. Clumps of hair falling out in the shower- I don't care, I am often to depressed or tired or dazed to care.

I don't care

I never have

Maybe I'll get better

Maybe

Try

Try

Try